Sunday, February 7, 2010

Day 4

Awesome job Saints!!!!! That game was actually worth watching. Haha...Hope everyone enjoyed their superbowl weekend? Anyways, my man did comeover which was pretty fun. We watched the game in my garage and played football during halftime and fuzball here and there. Overall it was pretty fun.Although something did happen that makes me concerned about Gabe and I. Let me explain...
I told you already how Gabe broke up with his ex named D right? Well when I left in the house to use the restrooms, I came back and noticed that he was gone for like 20 minutes talking on the phone. I was wondering who he was talking to so I went out to go see. I came out and he seemed like he wanted to hide something so I just straight out asked "Who are you talking to?" He just said "nobody..." But he's smiling and laughing and all so I just said hello close to the phone and he was like "shhhh...D will hear you.." " why you talkin to her again???" I said. "cuz she called me.." And in my head Im thinking why would you answer the phone knowing that you were hurt by this person and are trying to move on supposedly with someone you love. That person that would be me. All the sudden, D hangs up on him and it's probably because she heard my voice in the background. Then he has the ordasity to say " why you gotta be so loud? she heard you". Then I ask him what he's trying to hide and he just says that hes not hiding anything. I just dont wanna hurt her feelings. " Oh sure... he worries about hurting her feelingsm the girl who cheated on him and lied, then hurt my feelings, the person that he supposedly loves and wants to be with. Then I ask him to tell me that he loves me. " I love you!" I looked straight into his dark mahogany-brown eyes and saw the truth.
The truth is... he does love me, but a part of him still loves and has feelings for D. I felt a pain in my heart right there and then... and let me tell ya... that RARELY happens. I was hurt by that, but how could I blame him. I dont even think he even realizes that he still has a place for her left in his heart. But love takes time... and he did love her for a long time and I know from experience to know that when you love someone like that, it does not just go away that fast even when you want it to disappear. Even if they hurt you and your'e the one that decided to go, you just cant help but still have that left over feeling for them. That happened to me when I broke up with my ex Gevorg. But then I found Gabe and hes was there for me and cheering me up. And I had already knew that he liked me so I said to myself " this guy really likes me and I like him. It would not be fair of me to keep lingering onto Gevorg when he doesnt deserve my love when right here in front of me is this guy. And he deserves my love more then Gevorg." So thats when I decided to not even pursue him. I stopped answering his calls and would only talk to him about school cuz I knew that that would be the only way that I can get over him fast and if at all. And you know what it totally worked.
After I looked into his eyes, I just said ok. And then he goes "ok what? What do you mean??" I just said "nothing" and walked backed in the garage to watch the game. He doesnt even know that I saw that in him. He then just goes Oh my God tell me and I just said "its nothing lets finish watching the game". We finished watching the game, but the thought of what I saw just kept lingering in my head. And I hated that it was bohtering me so much. If anything I should understand right? since I've gone through the same thing. But it's hard!
After he left, one of his friends that was also there and knew what was goin on sent me a message over Facebook sayin "dont be mad". I responded Im not mad Im just a lil sad. And he goes on to tell me that I shouldnt be sad either cuz Gabe does love me and not D and that he wants to be with me and not her cuz she hurt him. I explained to him what I saw in his eyes and why I think that. He understood but still thinks that I have nothing to worry about. Even though his friend said all those good things about how much he goes on about me to him and his family, and that all his friends like me sooooo much better then her ( they cant emphasize it enough)I still just feel sad and depressed that he's risking our relationship by talking to her still. If you readers want, I can explain my reasons tomorrow.
It's late. I'm tired. And I gotta get rest for school tomorrow. College is no joke.
Night...

3 comments:

  1. Jeeezzz... That's some pretty intense stuff!!! Wow... Why didnt u tell me earlier?! If you want my opinion, I think you need to tell him all this. Seriuosly, If you want this to work you need to express your feelings.... No more of this wait and sit around crap. Well that's just what I think but do what you want. I'll talk to you later.

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  2. well it would have been better if u were there but nooooo u went to ur cuzins. i told him today actually and i dont think he cares. he says he understands but i dont think he wants to change

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  3. what a jerk. You need to ask yourself if you want to be with someone like that.

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