Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Day 5

I cant write much tonight because I still have to study for a test tomorrow and it's gonna be a hard one. I talked to Gabe today and told him how I felt about the whole D thing. He said he understood and he gets my reasons and all but he didnt say that he would stop. I mean common if I can stop accepting calls from my ex then he as DAMN well as can too. So in other words, I got hurt again. Now I'm just all confused and jumbled up inmy head. After talking to him, I went for a jog because it helps me to clear my head. I ended up with an even bigger mess then what I started with. For one thing, I hate that i got hurt by such a small thing. That bugs me that something like that hurt me. Am I overreactign to the situation or do I have every right to feel that way? It just fustrates me so much that I feel this way. And I'm not the type of person that gets their feelings hurt easily and even when I do it's like no big deal, just blow it off my shoulder. Why can't I do that this time? Maybe he is just too young and inmature for this whole thing. Should I just break it off with him? I really dont want to. I wanna give him a chance to change and turn around. But what if he doesnt change or doesnt even want to turn his ways around. Is that a reasonable reason to go. I know what Im gonna do. Im gonna do whats best for me. And if he's not whats good for me then I'm just gonna have to say "I'm out". But I wanna make that a last resort. I'm not one to give up on people that easily. But it is true that some people won't change or can only do so to a certain extent. So I guess I'm gonna stick it out for a little bit just to see if he's even gonna try/ make any progress. I've gotten over a guy before and I can get another one if I have to. Not that I want to but I know that I can and that it's not that hard... well it is hard but manigable when you suround yourslef with friends that really do care about you and will be there for ya...(Abby ;)). Thats it for tonight. I gotta get back to studying. Night...
P.S: question... why do I always fall for the jerks/assholes??? it's a mystery...